A natural born entrepreneur, with Cami Baker
Work for it, learn in, own it
Cami was dealt a tough set of cards. She was adopted. She lost her father at a young age. She struggled with dark times and addiction. Tune in to hear how she learned to turn obstacles into opportunities. Trace her uncanny trajectory of work for, learn it, own it!
Obstacles into opportunities
At eight years old my brother was three years older than me and he was always broke, so I learned about collateral and loan sharking long before I knew what they were. I was holding his stuff in exchange for high interest.
And then when I was nine or 10, I was buying gum on the way to school to sell to other children for a profit.
How can you not see opportunity everywhere?
It’s in my DNA.
The path of leadership
Can you tell us more about how this kept unfolding from being a loan shark at eight and selling gum to being a minge-to-millions maverick now?
I have noticed that I have gone from working for someone in an industry to owning it.
I went from working in bars for five/ six years to owning one from 25 – 30.
I worked for a real-estate agent for a year-and-a-half, but then when I got licensed I was my own agent.
I can do this all by myself.
I think it is Jon Maxwell that said the best way to learn – you do it yourself, then you show me how to do it, we do it together, and then I go do it myself.
That’s the path of leadership.
Shift from work to play
I am actually trademarking the word “net-play” as opposed to “net-work."
It excites me.
It’s about playing, it’s about having fun, it’s about not having so much pressure of looking for leads.
Planting your seeds as opposed to looking for leads.
People who knew me 10, 15 years ago would not have said “play." They would have said “aggressive, pushy.”
It’s a matter of slowing it all down. When they can just take a deep breath and play.
Just be there.
I don’t care if the room has three people in it or 300. I just really want one. One person to have a good contact with, a good connection, someone I can follow up and enjoy.
Don’t be so worried about the company you represent, it’s the company they keep.
As Abraham Higgs would say, “if you’re trying to paddle upstream, there is a lot of resistance."
Get in the flow, and just let things happen.
Who are your mentors?
How do you decide what to say “yes” to?
Having a coach, having a mentor, having people around me that are of the same like mind – that are forward thinkers.
People that are inspired, not motivated.
For me, there is a difference.
People who are motivated are running from something. You’re doing it because you have to. You are motivated to get away from the pain.
Whereas being inspired is “I have to have that… I want to feel that." Inspired is moving to something that is good, as opposed to running from something that is painful.
For me, the more I surround myself with those people… it is easier to listen to your intuition and know what the truth is for you. Know what the next right step is.
Break down to break through
I am dying to hear your personal story of transformation. You mentioned that you used to be all about achievement and go-go-go-go. What happened between you then and you now?
There was addiction in my past.
I have not always had mentors.
I take that back, we all always have someone or something influencing us. But maybe its not a positive influence.
There has been a time in my life where the people were not so positive and they were not so uplifting.
There came a time where I had to void myself of everyone and everything.
I came to a place where I said “no more for me."
Totally alone.
Sometimes the best friends to have is no friends to have.
That was a beautiful time of growth.
Every time you have a break down you have to have a break through.
From fear to freedom
Even though I had left behind that negative lifestyle, on the other side of the desert I was still just a hungry dog.
I knew that I wanted more.
I was so aggressive and so tenacious and so assertive.
And so deep down in survival.
In fear.
Fear!
Fear of going back there. Fear of being alone. Fear or not knowing where I’m going.
There finally came a point not too long ago where it went from here [head] to here [heart]… “You got this. You don’t have to fight. You don’t have to prove anything.”
I did a lot of spiritual work.
I went to Sedona for 31 days.
I did massages and healing work.
We did some past life regression.
The inner shift
I have always been proving myself from before I was given birth to.
I was adopted.
When I was in my mother’s womb I knew that I was being given away. That I wasn’t good enough… “Please keep me, I’m worth this, keep me around."
So moving through life I have always been proving myself.
If I do just a little more, they will keep me around. If I do just a little more, they will hire me. If I do just a little more, I will prove that I am better than any man.
Got a lot done. Made a lot of money.
But I also stepped on a lot of toes and burnt a lot of bridges.
Today, I don’t feel like I have to prove myself anymore.
I know who I am. I feel good in my own skin.
Whether I am making a lot of money or a little money, I am making a difference.
That has been the shift for me.
Unattachment
My dad died when I was six years old.
I think that plays into “don’t bother to love people because they leave you anyway."
That’s still living today.
I have a beautiful, wonderful man in my life that I push away.
My business is way more important to me… meaning my clients, living my dream, and being free, and being able to travel.
And not having any baggage. Literally, I have gotten rid of all my personal belongings.
I took my trunk of all my photos. I scanned them into the computer and I threw them away.
I even think of people as baggage. I don’t want any of your emotional stuff holding me down.
I just want to inspire, be inspired, and not be weighed down.
Surrounding yourself shining people
Today, I can look at everything in my life and say “If that hadn’t happened I may not be who I am today."
I love who I am.
If I needed to go through that, if I need to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough then break me down.
Because I know on the other side is hallelujah.
When I was on the other side, in purgatory those people were not shining. Their crystals were dirty.
Not that they were dirty people, they just didn’t know how to shine. They weren’t blazing with the light.
I was simply reflecting that which I was around because I was like that too. My crystal was dirty.
The beauty of it is that there came a day when I realized “wow my crystal is really dirty and I need to find some people with clean crystals to hang out with."
If you’re not feeling that freedom, that liberation, that playfulness, take a look at who you are shining off of or not shining off of.
Our favorite tips from Cami
Find opportunities everywhere.
To be a leader, watch someone else do it, then do it collaboratively, and then do it yourself.
Shift your thinking from working to playing; be present, breathe, and flow.
Networking is about creating one good connection.
Find mentors who are inspirational, as opposed to motivational.
Shift from being in your head to listening to your heart.
Unattach from material and emotional possessions.
To achieve freedom, surround yourself with people whose crystals are shining.
Resources and Links:
Quotes
“Planting your seeds as opposed to looking for leads.”
“Whether I am making a lot of money or a little money, I am making a difference. ”
“If I need to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough, then break me down.”
Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments.
If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us.
Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show:
www.yourtrueselfie.com
www.inchargequiz.com
In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it.
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
Until then,
Stay in your heart.
xx
Valerie
In this episode, we talk about: adoption, adopted, addiction, overcome, overcoming, networking, woman, entrepreneur, confidence, play, work, success, create, self-made
Recovering superwoman finds her wings, with Kelly Swingler
6 months after becoming the youngest HR director in the UK, Kelly ended up in a hospital. Her illness awakened her to heal from the “superwoman syndrome” and uncover a bigger mission of her life. Tune in to learn how she found her wings, and how you can too.
Letting go of being overworked
What was your call to adventure? How did you decide to spread your wings and fly?
I spent 18 years working in HR.
I was recruited as the youngest HR director in the UK.
I pushed and pushed and pushed to get my career where I wanted to go.
I went fully into superwoman syndrome.
Trying to do everything that I possibly could do.
About six months after getting the HR director position, I started to get quite ill and ended up in hospital.
Even whilst I was in hospital waiting for my operations I was still working on my laptop.
It was after the operation when I was in recovery that I thought “I’m not going to do anything”.
What I wanted to stop at the time was this “Monday-to-Friday Dying Syndrome”.
I had this realization and started my first business, my consultancy.
Regaining independence
Last year I was diagnosed with epilepsy and had to stop driving.
I lost my complete sense of independence.
When I was looking more deeply at myself and finding my own wings, I started to look at energy.
I did courses in hypnotherapy, reiki. I looked at more energy healing and was fascinated with this whole combination.
With the changes that I have been able to make for myself over the past 12 months – personally, professionally, business-focused – and then being able to see the difference that I can make for other people… I am flying.
If I could talk to any women or even go back three years and talk to myself, I would say STOP!
Take time out and rest.
That has been my biggest learn over the past six months.
The selfless act of resting
I have learned that rest and relaxation are completely different things.
Tweet: Rest and and relaxation are completely different things. #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
Doing nothing wasn’t something I had ever done.
I have always been working 150 miles per hour and doing everything I needed to do.
Resting was doing yoga, reading, writing, going out with friends, taking the dog for a walk. It was doing something.
The thought of doing nothing was not something I could comprehend.
It’s not doing nothing. It’s resting.
Magic starts to happen.
I have some rest time everyday now.
Whether it is meditation in the morning or sitting and having my lunch looking out of the window rather than sitting in front of my laptop.
Taking time out for resting felt like a really selfish thing to do.
We have to reprogram that pattern that says doing this for ourselves is selfish.
We have to start putting our own wellbeing first.
In life, we are putting oxygen masks on everyone else and leaving ourselves till last and we are draining our own energy.
Overcoming panic
In my head I had to be the superwoman.
I didn’t want anyone to think I was failing.
Or that I couldn’t cope.
Or that I wasn’t good enough at my job.
Or that I wasn’t a good enough mom or wife.
When I was in my own headspace that is when I would start to go into panic.
What was the antidote for panic for you? How would you pull yourself out?
A technique I picked up was journaling daily. Getting the panic out of my head, writing it down.
Writing down a question and I would get answers.
From the journaling I was able to look and find more solutions on a deeper level.
With the meditation and focusing on my breathing.
Recognizing all the energy.
And being aware of the physical sensations in my body.
Our favorite tips from Kelly
Take time out to rest, stop, and slow down.
Rest is productive.
Self-care is a racial act.
Tweet: Self-care is a radical act. #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
Journaling, meditation, breathing, and listening to energy can provide answers.
“We are all on a journey. I don’t think there is ever a finish point. We just have to keep growing and changing.”
Resources and Links:
Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments.
If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us.
Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show:
www.yourtrueselfie.com
www.inchargequiz.com
In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it.
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
Until then,
Stay in your heart.
xx
Valerie
In this episode, we talk about: stress, burnout, calling, illness, awakening, finding yourself, overcoming, relaxation, rest, self-care, healing, transformation
When money loves you, with Morgana Rae:
How to heal your life with some money honey romance
What if you have superhuman powers to repel money? What’s the connection between your money and your love life? How do you find gifts in tragedies? Tune in to learn from bestselling author and money Goddess Morgana Rae. Heartbreak, enlightenment, and transformation await!
The despair or repelling money
What was your call to adventure?
The thing that I really sucked at was about money and getting paid.
With a half dozen certifications, celebrity clients, mountains of testimonials, working with coaches, flying out of town every month to take new trainings.
Big deal.
I was still struggling to make $100 a month.
It was really painful and hopeless and devastating and puzzling and frightening.
My coaches couldn’t figure out what was going on.
Something was going on in the inside.
I had superhuman powers to repel money.
Nothing I did consciously or did well could come close to my powers to push money away.
I remember specifically I had just taken another class on sales.
I mastered it.
Seven people in a row said they would hire me.
None of them showed up and none of them paid.
I was so distraught. Disappointed. Enraged. Heartbroken. Angry.
Angry at myself, angry at the world, and the universe.
Angry that so many people had promised, “If you do this, you will get these results.”
I ran out of hope.
I remember being in my little one bedroom apartment and dragging closed the drapes, getting on my bed, and screaming in despair.
Really just wanting to die.
Protecting yourself from being initiated into your next level
If you are doing everything you can do in pursuit of your goal with everything you have and you are not getting the results that you desire, I deeply believe you are protecting yourself from what you want.
It is unconscious.
You are successful at protecting yourself from a perceived threat.
The first step is to find out what exactly you are protecting yourself from.
It is never what you think it is.
Some of the best things in my life happened during the darkest moments.
Some of the worst things happened during light moments.
It’s not that your are being punished, it is that you are being initiated into your next level.
A glimpse into the truth of your experience on earth
Initiated into your next level, can you explain a little bit what you mean?
I took Your Selfie Quiz [insert link www.yourtrueselfie.com]
I got the answer “Love”, which did not surprise me.
I had just had my heart broken back in 2003.
I was really obsessed with this person and brokenhearted and despaired.
I went to an event.
I had an out-of-body experience on stage in front of 300 strangers.
The message I got was that I was breaking my heart through all of these wildly inappropriate romantic choices because I came to earth to find out what humans experience so I can teach.
The biggest message I got, the biggest shock where it felt like crossing a veil into a hyper-reality beyond the illusion of our lives, I am love.
That is all I am.
That is the nature of existence.
The fabric of reality is love.
It has guided me in my life.
The gift of tragedies
When I was 17 after a catastrophic car accident that left me in a coma and I almost died.
I think the gift of the head injury was it opened up my intuition.
I remember things before they happen.
I think we have experiences because that’s what we are here for.
There is a gift and a learning and a wisdom from it.
I call our failures and our tragedies research and development.
So that I can have the humility and empathy to respect the experience of other people.
The pain that I went through gave me the gifts that made my life far beyond anything that I ever imagined possible for myself.
If your money were a person, who would your money be?
What was not working for in your relationship with money? What were you protecting yourself from?
I made a decision that money needed to be my next area of spiritual growth.
I got really curious about what was inside of me that couldn’t be with money.
On paper it didn’t make sense.
I had the Ivy League education, the success stories, the branding and marketing.
I had another session with my coach, who had a weird moment of inspiration that changed my life.
He asked me, “If your money was a person, who would your money be?”
As soon as I imagined money as a person, I saw who my money in that moment was.
He was a big, dirty, violent biker.
He terrified me.
I could feel it in my body.
It’s like a full body experience.
I finally found out what my relationship with money was when I made it a person.
I don’t know how to have a relationship with a measure of value, but I know how to have a relationship with a person.
It was like a light bulb went on.
I knew there is no way I could have money in my life if that was my money because he was bad, and he was dirty, and he was dangerous.
Stripping away the numbers and connecting money with love
Looking at my history, money got in the way of love.
An inheritance was stolen from me when I was a child by the family member I still love most to this day.
My college trust fund was stolen by the person I took my first steps to.
20 years later, it was showing up in my relationship with money.
The root cause of your money issues are not really about money.
You will find it deeper.
Money is the symptom, not the cause.
You will find the cause in what money represents.
Money represents our worth, power, love, safety.
It is when you can have a really great wonderful relationship with money that is not based on the numbers in your bank account, that’s when you are really powerful.
After I changed my money monster to my money honey, the next day four people hired me at double what I ever charged.
Then started group coaching and I had waiting lists.
In 2007, I had over 300 clients.
The love must come first.
You cannot treat money like an object because then you are back in money monster territory.
You want it to be real to you.
The more intimate the better.
A lover archetype works best.
Lovers are equal.
Money without love is not a worthwhile proposition.
You have to have them both.
Listening for the message in our lived experiences
I have a mother who is a drug addict and a borderline personality.
She was violent.
She would vacillate from being the best mother who ever existed.
Then turning upside down and becoming very dangerous.
For those of us who were gifted with dangerous parents, wow is that the best training in the world for intuition and empathy for survival.
People look at my life now and most don’t know what came before.
All of that hard stuff gave me a piece of the puzzle, a piece of wisdom, something I needed to bring me here.
Whatever it is, whether it is a money problem or a health problem, it has a message for you.
The longer you don’t get the message, the louder it gets.
It is not your enemy, it is your message.
When you receive the message the problem goes away.
Resources and Links:
Visit her website: www.morganarae.com
Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments.
If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us.
Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show:
In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it.
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
Until then,
Stay in your heart.
xx
Valerie
In this episode we talk about: money, archetypes, law of attraction, manifesting, conscious creation, healing, money issues, abundance, wealth, ease, love, romance, financial, coaching, tragedy, gifts
Contentment on the edge, with Sage B. Hobbs:
How to live up to the biggest and best version of you
When she got cancer at 23, Sage learned that life was not a guarantee. She had traveled to nearly 20 countries as a kid. Her heart was set on service to humanity. What would you do if you knew might not have an indefinite amount of time to change the world?
Curiosity
How did your journey begin?
I grew up in a really adventurous family who were really into making a difference in the world.
I didn’t realize how unique that was.
Being curious about the world was a family value.
That natural curiosity led me to want to engage with people in a deeper way.
Human beings were the only things that captured my interest for a prolonged period of time.
I have travelled to nearly 20 countries.
What was your most unusual cultural experience?
Kenya.
It was a whole other level of poverty.
It deepened my sense of gratitude and purpose.
And taught me so much around how you can find joy in simplicity.
Tweet: “You can find joy in simplicity.” Sage B. Hobbs #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
I was 21.
It was profound for me. I expanded and grew monumentally.
Allowing me to learn in an experiential way around this thing called humanity.
Changing your path
How I got here in this moment, it was holding my second baby in my arms.
I started to approach the hour of going back to my work and I had this visceral response of “I really don’t want to go back."
It scared the crap out of me.
I am sitting there going “why can’t I just be happy enough?”
What would be a way to use my gifts to be of service to a wider community in a different way?
I finished out that school year.
I stepped into this entrepreneurial, coaching, personal development, writing world.
It was absolutely what I was supposed to do.
Listening to your intuition
I hear it from a lot of women, this guilt “I have everything that one might want but I am not happy." That is why they end up settling and not rocking the boat. What gave you that confidence to step up and that courage to do it?
I was 23.
I got an awesome first real job, making a difference.
I was psyched. I was idealistic. I was invincible. I was fired up.
I was sitting at my new desk one afternoon and I felt this little lump above my collar bone.
I ignored it for a little while.
It didn’t go away.
I was like “This really isn’t right."
I listened to that little piece of intuition.
It was a whirlwind.
I was diagnosed with cancer. Hutchinson Lymphoma.
I had to have chemotherapy and radiation.
My life turned on its head.
Receiving love and being true to yourself
I learned many many lessons, including how to receive love and let people help me.
I really needed help. I needed support.
I remember my mom saying to me “Sage, let love in. Let people help you. They want to help you. It helps them to help you. Its generous to let them help you.”
The other really huge thing was I said “Life is not a guarantee.”
Tweet: “Life is not a guarantee.” Sage B. Hobbs #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
It was really different to look at it in the face and think I might not have an indefinite amount of time to change the world.
Since then I have lived with much more of an actual presence that life can be stolen from you at any moment.
I needed to live in a way that felt true to me.
Tweet: I needed to live in a way that felt true to me. #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
Lessons from loss
How do you know when you are not fully in your center?
I lost my dad five and a half years ago.
It was traumatic for me.
He was an incredible role model for me.
There is a gap in my memory of fogginess around that time.
I can’t even get clear on what was happening.
I was floating a little bit.
I think that’s part of grief.
I wasn’t tethered to my center in that time.
It was five months from health to death.
I was flying across the country.
My dad had been in 11 countries the year before for work.
Then he all of a sudden was paralyzed, in a wheelchair from the chest down.
I know in that moment I couldn’t always find the grace or the internal knowing.
My intention is that we get better at snapping out of the old story that doesn’t serve us.
You get better at coming back to your joy, your purpose in the world, more quickly.
Receiving without guilt
How do you get back when you get disconnected?
I am a huge believer in that human connection is the most powerful resource we have.
Tweet: Human connection is the most powerful resource we have. #inchargeshow @drvaleriebaker
I think it is human disconnection that causes us the most problems.
For me, I call people.
I have cultivated my support grew, my team, my posse.
You get to choose your crew.
I have these women in my life who can get me back to who I really am in the world.
I call the people who stand for me being the biggest, best version of myself.
It is a reciprocal thing. It’s this give and take.
You have to practice it in order to also receive it.
The power of yoga
I was so lucky that I started doing yoga right before I got cancer.
Just at the local gym, as a 22-year-old.
After I had cancer, I wanted to be in a helping place and closer to nature.
If I am stressed, I got to go to yoga.
Something about doing yoga in community, my brain settles down.
I reconnect with the parts I like about myself.
Teaching what you are learning
I know you’ve taken my quiz that is based on the chakra system. Would you mind sharing your results and if it resonated with you?
Mine was Inspiration. [Discover yours at www.yourtrueselfie.com]
It’s about communication, truth, power, voice.
That’s also where my anxiety will come.
There will be a tightening, a restriction in that area.
It is interesting, one of the hardest poses for me is fish pose or bridge.
They are both these huge throat openers.
You should be teaching what you are also learning.
The balance between contentment and living on the edge
Back to cancer, I really got clear I want to enjoy this life.
I don’t want to always live so intensely on the edge that my fear is racking my nervous system.
I want to enjoy the contentment right on the edge.
Playing in that zone of always pushing, growing and expanding and finding grace.
Fear and excitement, they are a dance.
Does the fear stop you or can you walk with it?
Breaking through the barriers of stress
I often find that anticipation is where most stress lies.
The things that aren’t working in our lives also serve us in some way. There is a payoff.
That makes you seem like your life is important, being busy and stressed.
I have to examine stress for myself.
Where is it coming from? How much of it am I willing to tolerate? Is it a healthy stress?
There is some stress to writing a book, creating a live event, and being a mom to two kids.
How much stress is productive that keeps me engaged and what parts can I let go of?
So perfectionism and stress are going to always be my Achilles heel.
Where the room for growth is noticing when those things are stopping me or when they are serving me.
Our favorite tips from Sage
Listen to your intuition
Let love in, allow yourself to receive help and support from others
Find your people who would stand for you being the biggest, best version of yourself
Do yoga to relieve stress and reconnect with your true self
Balance contentment with living on the edge
Teach what you most need to learn
Our favorite quotes from Sage
“Let love in. Let people help you. They want to help you. It helps them to help you. It’s generous to let them help you.”
“My intention is that we get better at snapping out of the old story that doesn’t serve us.”
“Human connection is the most powerful resource we have.”
“I call the people who stand for me being the biggest, best version of myself.”
“Does the fear stop you or can you walk with it?”
Resources and Links:
Naked Communication book is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Naked-Communication-Courageously-Create-Relationships/dp/099817131X]
Visit her website: www.sagebhobbs.com for free chapters of her book and to gain insights through her blog
Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments.
If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us.
Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show:
In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it.
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
Until then,
Stay in your heart.
xx
Valerie
In this episode we talk about: service, humanity, travel, international, cancer, survivor, author, speaker, naked communication, book, fear, purpose, true friends, contentment, edge, balance